i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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