Do vagina's smell?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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