I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
