if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
