i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
