She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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