either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
