i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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