im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
