He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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