This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
