That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
