he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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