there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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