Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
