I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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