If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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