false alarm. still invincible.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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