ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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