You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
