oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
