one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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