I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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