is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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