Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
