Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
