I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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