Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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