I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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