Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
