did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's official drugs can't kill me
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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