so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
