Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
