i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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