He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
