I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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