There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
