I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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