Grow some girl-balls and come out already
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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