he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
