Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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