even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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