fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
