id be glad to
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
