left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
