So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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