I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
