you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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