Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
