dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
