they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
