how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Drake has all the answers
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
